beerito:

are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?

a number

[everyone groans]

what’s the 411

The story of my life tbh

♪ story of my life ♪

I want a smoothie but I’m out of milk because I forgot that grocery shopping is a thing adults have to do.

obedients:

I hate it when someone is hot and funny like stop that you only get one

goodnight 

Speaking of, this is my son Oliver. He wouldn’t stop climbing up my legs.

water tastes so good right now

i aint even sorry

cute

silentshivers:

literally how does anyone not believe in aliens

are u really so anthropocentric that you think there are millions and billions and trillions of light years of the ever expanding universe but we’re the only life to possibly exist smh

snarg:

truth or dare more like preform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like

I spy me